Bogotá or Cali?

Ok, I have a confession. I do not like Bogotá. I LOVE Cali.

I'm in Cali for the entire month of January and Im so thankful that I'm here! I haven't even really been partying or doing "amazing" things. I've just been doing my research and making friends. To be honest I've never felt more comfortable/secure in Colombia. 

As I'm interested in a career in the Foreign Service (I'll go into this another post. Theres more that meets the eye), this type of change scares and enlightens me. Because its not the place, its me. What is it about me that has more trouble adapting to Bogotá than Cali?

After I went to Quibdo for a long weekend I had such a great time. When I arrived back in Bogotá I cried. My mom asks me "Is it because you're back in Bogotá?"

While it embarrasses me that I haven't had such an easy acculturation to Bogotá, I need to be honest with myself. A lot of times the past 5 months in Bogotá have felt like a dark period. While I know now that I don't need to be happy all the time, and difficult situations always arise as surely as the Sun sets, haha. 

One thing I did notice coming back from Quibdo, is that Bogotá feels like a Latin American city trying to be European. This is not based on fact, just my feelings/perceptions. I remember my Research advisor saying that Blanqueamiento is not just whitening african and indigenous people, but a whitening of mestizo culture. Theres always a push to make things more european, more white american, etc. 

In many ways, the dress, music, attitudes, and culture of Bogotá feels like 21st century blanqueamiento. However, Cali and Quibdo have just felt like themselves. As if theyre not trying to show off something- I know this is weird to say. 

Anyway. Everything starts with the individual. Apparently I still have some growth to do to confront my issues with living abroad. Montreal, Cali, Oakland- cities I found very easy to live in. Granada, Spain, Bogotá...not so much. I guess its ok to not like where I'm living. Maybe this experience is just necessary for personal/professional growth.